4 Unwritten Rules for Adults in Social Interactions

As we grow older, the saying “birds of a feather flock together” becomes more relatable. Everyone chooses to live life in their unique way, but freedom of choice isn’t always absolute. This becomes especially evident in social settings. We encounter a myriad of individuals - some we like, some we don’t, and others we must put on a smile for even when we’d rather not.

In the intricate dance of social interaction, people cautiously adapt to various unwritten rules. However, even then, you may find yourself hitting a wall when dealing with certain individuals. It’s not the collision that’s frightening; it’s the uncertainty of where you went wrong.

Unlike explicit legal codes, “social rules” are an unspoken agreement among people. No one displays the “correct” way openly. Instead, we learn these rules through trial and error, unveiling the true nature of how things work. This leads us to the discovery of the social world’s second set of laws - the “unwritten rules.”

1. Avoid Deep Bonds with Habitual Negatives

In life, there are individuals who always respond with a resounding “no” no matter what you say. They incessantly push their perceived truths onto others until you surrender to their viewpoint. Initially, engaging with such people might seem like an opportunity to gain different perspectives and knowledge.

Over time, though, you’ll realize that their truths aren’t accurate. Their knowledge and insights are far from profound. Instead, they may suffer from the “Dunning-Kruger effect,” overestimating their abilities and being unable to objectively accept others’ opinions. They cannot see things from others’ perspectives and always believe their thoughts and views are the only correct ones.

Prolonged contact with such individuals will leave you feeling either lacking confidence, fearing that your ideas will be dismissed, or impatient, knowing they’ll contradict everything you say. It’s not so much about avoiding them as it is about being unable to bear the oppression they bring.

2. Refrain from Pitying Those Who Flaunt Their Flaws

“I’m straightforward; don’t mind me,” “I don’t mind offending people,” or “I’ll say something harsh, don’t take offense” - when conversations start with such disclaimers, it rarely leads to pleasant exchanges. People who utter these phrases have already ingrained in others’ minds an image of “I’m like this; deal with it.”

Many individuals are influenced by this upfront attitude and tolerate personal attacks. Starting with a premise that they’re going to be difficult, these individuals shield themselves from anger, which is often perceived as a lack of maturity. Despite the inner insecurity driving this behavior, they don’t deserve our sympathy or forgiveness.

These individuals prepare to harm others, using such language as a reminder, making their attacks less blatant. Understanding the underlying nature of this behavior empowers you to respond confidently, with a sense of superiority.

3. Don’t Overly Vent Your Sorrows

Complaining is a common reaction when life’s injustices strike. However, this doesn’t mean others should unquestioningly accept your complaints. Revealing your vulnerabilities only seeks sympathy, and no one has the patience for constant negativity.

Publicly admitting your inadequacies decreases your value in the eyes of others. In the adult world, only parents can unconditionally accept our grievances and use them as opportunities to show care. Beyond that, pouring out your sorrows in front of anyone else exposes your vulnerability, either irritating or potentially manipulating your audience.

Mature individuals control their emotions, digest their suffering, and use it as a stepping stone for growth, quietly embracing the solitude that accompanies such resilience.

4. Don’t Expose Someone Faking It Publicly

“Fake it till you make it” is a common motto, but not all forms of faking are admirable. You might encounter individuals pretending to be knowledgeable in your field or embellishing eyewitness accounts with excessive details. They misrepresent facts, exaggerate, or lie.

In such situations, many people opt to expose them publicly, but this isn’t the best choice. Those who frequently “fake it” often have narrow and empty inner worlds. They need this façade to gain acceptance. Finding self-worth in their lies brings immense satisfaction.

At this point, any contradiction shatters their carefully constructed illusion. Shame and disappointment build up, possibly leading to harsh retaliation. Losing trust is a significant blow to them, so it’s better to let them save face.

As one matures, they become aware of the complexity of the social world. Relationships between people have multiple facets, some clearly visible, while others resemble hidden icebergs beneath the surface. Recognize, understand, and navigate these facets to avoid accidental shipwrecks. It may seem harsh, but that’s the reality.

Incorporate these unspoken rules into your social interactions to ensure smoother relationships with diverse personalities. Remember, the art of adulting isn’t just about age; it’s about mastering the subtleties of human dynamics.