6 Common Verbal Habits Linked to Depression

In the realm of psychology, Sigmund Freud once remarked that “when a person indulges in sadness, they perceive the world as empty; and when one experiences depression, they perceive themselves as empty.” Our habitual verbal expressions, seemingly innocuous, often conceal profound secrets about our inner selves. This article delves into the linguistic habits that warrant our vigilance, shedding light on their connection to depression.

“Life is so boring / I’m so annoyed / I’m so tired”

Psychologist Sigmund Freud’s words resonate here: “When a person indulges in sadness, they perceive the world as empty.” Repeatedly finding life boring is indicative of waning interest in the external world and a dwindling curiosity to explore. It’s a precursor to self-isolation, causing one to withdraw from social interactions and resist change. When confronted with these mundane issues, one might find themselves complaining incessantly. The underlying issue? A lack of inner vitality, rendering them powerless to resolve conflicts. Consequently, they switch to “low energy mode,” striving to minimize exertion. Paradoxically, this can lead to an even more substantial problem: isolation from external sources of energy, potentially culminating in depression.

“I can’t do it / I’m worthless / I’m a failure”

A telltale sign of a propensity toward depression is self-assessment. Those with chronically low self-esteem and intense self-doubt are more susceptible to depressive moods. Constant self-denial leads to evasion of issues and an escape from reality, hindering normal functioning and social interactions. This often spirals into a vicious cycle: self-oppression leads to a lack of proactive problem-solving, which, in turn, erodes one’s ability to confront life’s challenges. A sense of security partially depends on certainty. If one continually perceives themselves as worthless and incapable of turning uncertainty into something concrete, they forfeit their sense of security and control over life. Anxiety sets in, and depression often follows.

“I’ve had a miserable past”

Psychology introduces the concept of “ruminative thinking,” which essentially involves dwelling on one’s dark history, a perpetual fixation on past experiences. There’s a saying: those who dwell in the past tend to become depressed, while those who dwell in the future tend to become anxious. Reflecting on past experiences is originally a self-improvement technique. However, sometimes, it becomes an excuse for shirking personal responsibility: “My unhappiness is due to a traumatic upbringing; my struggles are a result of my dysfunctional family.” While this may be true, it entirely disregards one’s subjective agency. Positive psychology suggests that the more a certain thinking pattern is employed in daily life, the stronger and more enduring the corresponding neural pathways become. In essence, if someone frequently indulges in past reminiscence, it becomes easy for negative emotions to control their psyche. This creates a fertile breeding ground for depression.

“It’s all my fault / I’m to blame for everything”

Psychological disorders often tie in with an individual’s attribution style. Someone excessively self-centered and egotistical tends to attribute failures entirely to external factors. Conversely, those with depression habitually shoulder the blame, often overlooking uncontrollable elements. This mindset begets feelings of guilt and burdensome emotions. For instance, they may perpetually feel they’re a burden to others or responsible for impeding group progress. This emotional state triggers a destructive cycle where self-esteem is gradually eroded. As a result, they become increasingly hesitant to voice their needs and avoid conflicts altogether. When self-protective mechanisms break down and self-confidence shatters, learned helplessness creeps in. The belief that effort can’t change anything leads to a lack of motivation and ultimate disappointment. Once self-attack reaches its limit, depression takes hold.

“Everyone’s against me / No one likes me”

Frequent use of these phrases directs attention overwhelmingly toward others. Those who habitually rely on external evaluations as their true worth tend to interpret others’ words and actions negatively. They believe they’re disliked, criticized, and might even anticipate abandonment. The more they think this way, the harder they strive to please others. Paradoxically, low self-esteem behaviors often yield no benefits, and in such interactions, they end up holding themselves in even lower regard. When self-respect is lacking, self-punishment ensues, forcing them to conform to others’ expectations. Over time, a person’s psyche operates under such high-pressure conditions that breakdown becomes inevitable. Feeling life is meaningless, becoming numb to existence, and sinking into a mental abyss are all part of the process.

In Conclusion

Depression is like a transparent glass wall, separating you from life. You can see everything clearly but can’t truly touch it. Over time, your inner self becomes increasingly desensitized, drifting further from reality. Eventually, you feel everything is futile, losing the motivation and courage to carry on. The root of all this lies in the abundance of self-doubt and self-criticism deep within us. So, when you catch yourself frequently uttering phrases that undermine your self-worth, it’s time to raise the alarm. Being kinder to yourself, not betraying your own potential, is the path to not betraying life itself.