Exploring the Realities of Life: What Makes It Truly Heroic

- Life's Truths
- Embracing Reality
- The Prerequisite of Fairness
- Empowerment for Equity
- The Art of Self-Preservation

In the words of French writer Romain Rolland, “The only true heroism in the world is persisting in loving life after you’ve found out what it’s like.” But what is the essence of life, and how does it evolve as we grow?

Constant Losses

In our youth, many of us long to grow up quickly, believing that adulthood brings freedom from constraints and the fulfillment of our desires. However, this perspective often overlooks a crucial aspect of life: for every gain, there’s a loss.

As we mature, we shed the idealized notions we once held and step into a more authentic reality. Real life is marked by continuous loss. We lose the financial and material support of our parents, shifting from receiving to earning. This transition is far more challenging than we anticipate.

We also lose people who were once significant to us. Psychological studies refer to this as the social support system, encompassing the material and emotional assistance we receive from family, friends, and acquaintances. For adults, this system isn’t static; it’s repeatedly reset and rebuilt. Whether it’s leaving home for education, changing jobs, or relocating to different cities, these shifts introduce us to new connections while causing us to drift apart from, or even lose, those we held close.

Some people might even lose themselves in the pursuit of a good life. While it appears that individuals vie for wealth, respect, or various goals, their underlying aspiration remains consistent: to lead a life aligned with their desires and will.

However, achieving this is far from easy. Many people lose themselves along the way, swayed by external influences, leading lives they don’t truly desire.

Fairness Comes with Conditions

“Life’s unfair!” This refrain is a common echo in our lives. We might find ourselves earnestly making a case, like the car owner sitting on the Mercedes hood, defending our viewpoint. But more often than not, the world can be ruthless.

Is there fairness in this world? Indeed, but every form of fairness has a prerequisite: power equilibrium. Parents often tell their children that they are equals, but the parent-child relationship is arguably the most unequal of all.

Children with their own ideas are often less favored than obedient ones. Why? Because there’s an imbalance of power between parents and children. In reality, people don’t always prioritize fairness. Right and wrong are tools we employ at certain moments, not necessarily our ultimate goals. People are more concerned about their needs being met or fulfilled.

In the real world, fairness follows a simple principle: when you can provide others with what they need, they are more inclined to reciprocate. This is the true fairness that prevails.

To level the playing field, you must empower yourself.

Learn Self-Preservation

Real life is not straightforward; it’s intricate. It possesses both beauty and darkness. Around us, there are warm-hearted individuals, but also the indifferent and even hostile.

Within each person, there’s a mix of good and bad. Understanding this reality allows you to cultivate a balanced mindset. You won’t lose faith in life when you witness its darker aspects, as you know they are only a part of the whole.

Facing negativity in life, you avoid being overly naive. You comprehend that blindly tolerating others’ malevolence doesn’t solve problems; it only harms you. Hence, learning to protect yourself becomes crucial.

In psychoanalysis, there’s a vital concept known as “defense mechanisms.” If a person doesn’t establish adaptive defense mechanisms, they struggle to cope with life’s pain and conflicts, eventually collapsing.

Likewise, if we lack self-preservation awareness, we’ll find it challenging to navigate the complexity of reality. Mature individuals strike a balance, neither blindly optimistic nor overly pessimistic. They possess a clear understanding of real life, avoiding harm to others while safeguarding themselves from harm.