The Power of Authentic Communication: Strengthening Relationships Through Emotional Expression

In the hustle and bustle of life, how long has it been since you had a heart-to-heart conversation with someone? It’s likely that around 80% of people, when confronted with this question, would fall into silence. Now, consider another question: How long has it been since you opened up and shared your innermost thoughts with your partner? It’s believed that about 90% of individuals would also fall silent.

We often discuss emotions and intimate relationships, and while they may seem complex, the key to understanding your relationship with another person lies in the depth of emotional connection between you two. When you can openly express your deepest desires and fears while being accepted and acknowledged by your partner, we can confidently say that your relationship is intimate enough.

However, in real life, we’ve all experienced how challenging it can be to express our true feelings, even with close friends, partners, or family members. Why is this the case?

1. Fear of Being Hurt: Just like a pet, especially dogs, often trust us enough to expose their vulnerable belly, humans also have their metaphorical vulnerable spots. When we express our innermost thoughts, we’re essentially revealing our vulnerabilities, including our hidden secrets, unconventional beliefs, and behaviors not socially accepted. There’s a significant risk involved, as the other person may not understand, agree, or might even betray your trust by sharing your words with others. In short, revealing your true self doesn’t guarantee understanding or acceptance, and even being ignored or disregarded can lead to unpleasant feelings.

2. Fear of Hurting Others: In intimate relationships, especially between partners and family members, there’s often a strong desire to express feelings. However, it’s a common realization that this doesn’t always strengthen the relationship; in fact, it can lead to more harm than good. For instance, expressing anger or complaining to a loved one may be a genuine expression of emotions, but it can also hurt the other person deeply. Many people find their feelings toward family members to be complex, combining love and pain.

As a result, you might notice that as relationships progress, the moments of open communication decrease while silence grows. Some might label this as emotional distancing or even “love silence,” which may seem negative, but it’s rooted in a logical explanation: people choose not to speak to avoid unnecessary conflicts. If you can’t handle the outcome of an argument, it’s better not to initiate one in the first place.

However, life’s happiness lies in building connections and not avoiding problems. Pursuit and avoidance are two different mindsets that can lead our lives in positive or negative directions. So, despite the challenges, it’s essential to make an effort to express your true feelings.

But what we need to learn is how to express our true feelings effectively. Depending on your situation, here are some approaches to consider:

1. For Those Who Struggle to Express Themselves: If you tend to avoid conflict and prioritize harmony in your relationships, you may rarely express your true feelings. However, avoiding issues doesn’t necessarily lead to intimacy. In contrast, close friends often engage in heated arguments, whereas casual acquaintances tend to be polite despite differing opinions. Expressing yourself can be a signal of trust, increasing the likelihood of understanding and trust from others.

2. For Those Who Express Themselves Inappropriately: Expressing emotions, even negative ones, is still a form of authenticity. However, expressing emotions through blame, complaints, or sarcasm can make it difficult for others to accept and understand. Such expressions come across as aggressive and can trigger resistance and opposition. Truly warm communication often involves removing the aggression. When you sincerely discuss your feelings, you are simply sharing your current emotional state, rather than judging or blaming the other person.

Of course, expressing your true feelings isn’t limited to words alone. Verbal communication is just one of many ways to convey emotions, and non-verbal expressions play a vital role in conveying feelings. A positive glance, an empathetic smile, or even a hug can communicate profound emotional information, allowing the other person to understand your true feelings.

In essence, any form of communication that makes the other person sense your genuine emotions holds power. So, make an effort to express yourself authentically; it’s worth it.